5 Important Things I've Learnt in the Past 5 Months

A reflection on the past 5 months of my life.

lifereflection

1. Who You Spend Your Time With Matters As Much As What You Do

You probably know that your life is shaped, to a great extent, by the people you’re surrounded by. I’ve come to realise that this is truer than most people would like to believe. In fact, the people around us, especially those we spend large proportions of our time, influence our actions, decisions, thoughts, and beliefs — and we often don’t even realise this.

This is not necessarily a bad thing — it just means that we have to be careful and conscious of who we choose to spend our time with. Surround yourself with the right kind of people and you’ll see the positive impact extremely quickly!

I’m deliberately being vague by saying “right” kind of people here (without defining what “right” means); it depends on you — your personality, your goals and aspirations. Different people thrive in different environments — this applies to social environments too. Figure out what’s (and who’s) best for you

For example, when you’re deciding which company to join (or if you’re a student like me, which CCA/extra-curricular to join in university/school), think about the people you’ll be hanging out with too. The organisation’s culture should be an important factor while making such decisions.

From the organisation’s perspective, this is also why hiring the right kind of people is crucial to its success. Simply hiring for skills isn’t enough. The guiding question should be: “Would I want to work with you?” (an even more potent question to ask is “Would I want to work for you?” — especially if they’ll be managing people, either now or in the future).

The bottom line is really simple: people matter more than progress. An organisation can only succeed if everyone in it succeeds together.

2. Slow Down

We’re constantly made to feel guilty for doing “nothing” or not being productive enough or just chilling around. But why does everyone want us to be busy all the time? Why do people that barely get any sleep wear that as a badge of honour?

Being busy is not the same as being useful. In fact, there’s rarely more than 3–4 important things you have to do in a day — the people that generally look “busy” all the time are probably doing a whole bunch of unnecessary and unimportant stuff just to avoid the difficult but necessary tasks.

Also, there’s seldom a good reason not to sleep for 7–8 hours every night; it doesn’t really matter if that’s from 11pm to 7am or from 1am to 9am — just make sure to get your sleep. I’ve found that sleep literally makes me more productive, helps me concentrate better, increases creativity, and reduces stress levels. The contrapositive is probably easier to visualize: a lack of sleep makes me cranky and unable to focus. If this applies to you too, do yourself a favour and sleep.

Want to take this even further? Don’t feel guilty about taking a short nap every now and then if you feel that’s what you need — trust me, sometimes taking a nap and then getting back to doing whatever you were doing makes you so much more productive (and happy!) than forcing yourself to labour through it despite your exhaustion.

Lastly, not doing anything actually gives your mind the chance to catch a break and wander around — which is how most creative insights are discovered.

3. Actively Learn Something New Every Week

I know it’s probably hard to find time to learn something new every single day, but once a week sounds reasonable right?

I mean really schedule 2–3 hours a week sincerely to read up on something that fascinates you — I don’t care what that “something” actually is. It just has to be something that you’re genuinely interested in. Then, understand it deeply — write it in your own words or try to explain it to someone else who doesn’t know the topic.

I also find it particularly useful to keep track of the stuff I’ve learnt so far and stuff I find interesting that I can learn in future. I’ve realised that my list of “stuff to learn” grows much faster than my “stuff learnt”, which motivates me to keep going forward.

Of course, it’s also humbling to see that it is virtually impossible to know everything, given that there’s so much you don’t know. In fact, this list of “stuff to learn” only contains the things you know you don’t know — it doesn’t even account for the (much much longer) list of things you don’t even know you don’t know!

4. Every Aspect Matters

Does happiness come from spending all your time with friends and family? Or from being financially stable? Or from doing something you like doing? Or what?

I feel it’s not a single thing , but the balance of every aspect of life, that makes us happy and content. I know it’s true for me.

Life’s all about finding the right balance between everything important.

But what is this “everything important”? I see it as 5 different things:

1. Social life — spending time with friends and family
2. Work — pursuing something meaningful and worthwhile
3. Physical health — keeping yourself fit and healthy
4. Mental abilities — keeping your mind sharp and engaged
5. Emotional health — taking care of yourself.

An important realisation is to see that you can’t try and fill a void in one part of your life, no matter how much you overcompensate in another. For example, your gigantic bank balance can’t make up for your lack of agility and energy, stemming from your poor physical health.

More generally, anything in extreme (e.g. working for 14 hours everyday, or partying 5 nights a week) isn’t good for you and isn’t going to make you happy in the long run. But don’t be too rigid either — give yourself the flexibility to go out-of-balance once in a while (i.e., don’t take this idea of moderation to the extreme either). Quoting Oscar Wilde,

Everything in moderation, including moderation

5. Take Responsibility

If you’re in a team and you’re the leader, and anything goes wrong, take responsibility. As Terry Pratchett said,

Even if it’s not your fault, it’s your responsibility.

In case you’re wondering: “But Devansh, why should I take responsibility for something that wasn’t my fault??” Because you’re the leader! You’re responsible for not only your own actions and mistakes, but also those of every other person in the team. That’s what being a true leader is about.

Also, in case it has to be said, don’t do this as a pretentious act of showmanship (people can see through that kind of charade, really).

It is only through such a form of, what Jocko Willink calls, “Extreme Ownership” that people will know you’re not someone who passes on the blame or lets someone else take the fall. They’ll respect you for your courage and honesty.